Hey, welcome to a lot of new readers. If you only really read the last one of these I promise they’re not all super heavy, but also this one might be a little (edit: or a lot) on that side as well. but! pop culture too! With that, I think this is the point where I have to say that *WARNING* this post disucsses a minor subplot of the second season of the popular television show Ted Lasso, it does not ruin any of the major events but it does talk about an important emotional development for one of the main characters. If thats not something you want to happen for you today… I will see you next week hopefully.
Also, since the beginning of these is where I’ve decided to do most of my housekeeping type notes, a tremendous thank you to all of the new readers and their messages of support. This is a weirdly personal thing for me and I’m not usually very good at being forthcoming with anything going on with myself on a personal level with anyone that knows me, so it does mean a lot to those that have reached out. Don’t feel like it should be one of those “hey man, I wish I had known” kind of things because I’m normally the kind of person that doesn’t want to burden anyone with my shit, but thats the point of this thing I guess; a place for the other people that maybe don’t want to burden others with their shit to realize they’re not on their own and there are going to be plenty of things in life, both big and little, that can maybe give you a little bit of hope.
Here we go, its:
Week Five
Last chance, so if you have watched all of Ted Lasso (or you just don’t give a shit about me talking about a minor plot point), please continue. If it is a show that you are currently in the middle of watching the second season or you may watch it in the future or you just hate spoilers, I am just repeating myself from earlier in this post aren’t I? But also I don’t need to field any text messages that are all like “wow way to go you jerk”, I have given two fair warnings over here.
Representation, huh? Being seen? And percieved? what a motherfucker.
Season Two of Ted Lasso really dove headfirst into the whole therapy thing, and thats great because yeah we need to normalize going to therapy and normalize talking about our mental health with either a professional or our loved ones or both. It was great to watch that blossom into a full fledged storyline as the gang all came around to the idea and wanted to make themselves into the best version of themselves that they can be, both on the field and in their own heads. It is however, something we have seen a bunch of times used as a plot device in television before, so its not exactly a groundbreaking concept to show.
What I wasn’t particularly prepared for was the Ted’s father line of it all, and then the way that was handled. Suicide in popular culture is never really shown to be a multi-faceted decision, or even the decision of someone who is unfortunately having an issue with their perception of reality. Its usually just shown as this action of desperation or a way of taking control, of one definining action by a character that is shown to not be in charge of their own life. We are rarely shown the ramifications of the choice, but when we are it is traditionally framed in a way that has the surviving characters blaming the departed. Its shitty, its reductive, and it feels almost suffocating in so much as you can’t talk about your own issues in your personal life because most of the people you know have only ever seen it portrayed this way. As was the case initially when Ted brought this up, he blamed his father for his choices and for not being there for him as he was growing up because as a survivor of his father’s decision he had no other choice but to see it through that lens.
There is a split second when Ted finally sees things through his father’s lens though, and it was fucking mindblowing for me to watch. To see that level of representation, to see someone on a television (or in my case, laptop) screen, on a show that is winning wheelbarrow loads of awards, come to grips with the fact that this person did not have the capacity to see the light that they bring to others, to see that all the things you say about them does not register in their brain at this time, was just unbelievable for me. At the lowest points of depression, at least for me, it becomes so easy to view yourself and your contributions… its not even always a negative way. Its an insignificant way. To have the sense of your own value become so warped as to view that the lives of those around you are worse because you are in it. Its one of those super cliche things right? When people are like: “hey, you’ve got so many great things going on. you shouldn’t be depressed.” or any of a million different variations on that theme. And you just have to sit there in an impossible to explain headspace. But maybe you don’t have to sit in that headspace alone forever. Maybe this is just a first step in the right direction that will have more people discussing the less comfortable dimensions of mental health. It’s not all just videos on tiktok trying to tell you that you have ADHD or autism (wait, is that just me?), the prospect of more people in your life having a Rosetta Stone to translate whats going on for you into words they understand through media representation is a great thing and maybe this is just the beginning.
Long story short on this point: it’s a great fucking show, and I’m sure people have said this to you for a multitude of reasons. See I told you that sometimes this was going to just be some recommendations of things you should do or watch or wear or go to, can’t all be heavy, right? But this right here? This fuckin shit? This? This. There’s only been one other time I’ve wanted to track down the writer of a specific episode of television and shake their hand, and thank them for bringing this to the world, even if most people may not read as deeply into it as I have. (The other episode was the Alzheimer’s episode of Bojack Horseman. Absolutely fucking jaw-dropping writing that I could only hope to produce in my wildest dreams. If anyone reading this knows either of these writer’s or anyone involved with the inception or execution of these ideas please just let them know they are incredible people.)
I’ve really been putting these little tldr conclusion paragraphs down here because my level of writing hasn’t grown since college, and this week isn’t going to be any different. Know this: someone sees you. You may not know they do, and maybe they don’t know that they see you specifically, but you are seen. Maybe a little, maybe a lot, maybe not as much as you need to be; but you are and you can be moreso. And the more you’re seen the less alone you are in these feelings, and the less alone you are in these feelings the less it feels like fucking drowning. That feels like a pretty good fucking Reason To Stick Around no?